FTB Golf


This website tracks the history of the mundane, completely meaningless annual golf tournament played by a bunch of grown men in their 30s masquerading as 20 somethings for a weekend of golf and debauchery. Officially known as For The Boys Annual Golf Tournament, all historical results, player bios, and tournament photos can be found here. 

Tournament Results

2024: The Ranch Golf Club June 22, 2024

Format: Team Strokeplay

CHAMPIONS: Andrew Johnson and Jeff Cibotti

Team Net Scores:

1.) Johnson/Cibotti -16

2.) Rieger/Shirley -13

T-3) Pat/Kev -10

T-3) Bourque/Parker -10

5.) Gorman/Johnny Phelan -7

T-6) Wally/Holmes -5

T-6) Brett/Sean -5

8.) Timmy/Toner -3

9.) Gym/Jon -1

10.) Andy/Bluhm +1

Individual Gross Scores (AM/PM): 

1.) Bourque 155 (77/78)

T-2) Tim 163 (80/83)

T-2) Pat 163 (83/80)

T-3) Brett 164 (84/80)

T-3) Johnson 164 (85/79)

4.) Rieger 171 (91/80)

5.) Gym 175 (86/89)

6.) Gorman 177 (87/90)

7.) Andy 181 (91/90)

8.) Jon 184 (89/95)

9.) Cibotti 187 (92/95)

10.) Wally 189 (94/95)

11.) Toner 190 (89/101)

12.) Johnny Phelan 191 (96/95)

13.) Kev 196 (93/103)

14.) Shirley 201 (106/95)

15.) Holmes 205 (98/107)

16.) Sean 223 (106/117)

17.) Bluhm 243 (127/116)

18.) Parker 249 (127/122)


2023: Sandwich Hollows Golf Club July 22, 2023

Format: Team Strokeplay

CHAMPIONS: Patrick Cronin and Jonathan Cronin

Team Net Scores:

1.) Pat/Jon -15

2.) Andy/Sean -11

T-3) Jim/Kevin -10

T-3) Tim/Parker -10

5.) Dave/Cibotti -8

6.) Steve/Higgins -7

7.) Brett/Shirley -4

8.) Johnson/Holmes +3

Individual Gross Scores (AM/PM): 

1.) Tim 151 (73/78)

2.) Jim 160 (77/83)

3.) Pat 167 (86/81)

T-4.) Johnson 175 (91/84)

T-4.) Steve 175 (91/84)

6.) Dave 177 (91/86)

7.) Jon 179 (92/87)

8.) Andy 182 (92/90)

9.) Brett 186 (91/95)

10.) Kevin 187 (95/92)

11.) Cibotti 190 (101/89)

12.) Higgins 197 (100/97)

13.) Shirley 204 (102/102)

14.) Sean 205 (101/104)

15.) Holmes 217 (110/107)

16.) Parker 221 (112/109)

 


Player Guide

John W. Parker


Age: 37

Handicap: 30

John Wesley Parker is a true rags to riches story. After surviving a dangerous childhood on the streets of Plainville, Parker met more adversity as an adult where a debilitating foot fetish nearly derailed his golf dreams. Now a happily married father, Parker is focused and determined to become a late bloomer on the golf course. With a bevy of flashy outfits juxtaposed with his Plainville grit, don't sleep on this young man in any tournament. 

Andrew Graham

Age: 37

Handicap: 15


Once known as the hard-partying, hedonistic bad boy of the Tri-Town area, Andy Graham has matured into Mr. Reliability on and off the golf course. Even when he toes every single approach shot, he always finds his way into the cup for a respectable score. However, Graham has recently found himself clouded in controversy as rumors swirl about him leaving FTB for the LIV Tour in order to have more time to attend endless family parties on the South Shore. 

Brett M. Davison

Age: 37

Handicap: 9.7

A one-time golf fashionista and owner of the Instagram account 'Breaking 80,' Davison was considered the It player of this generation. His drive of the green on a par 4 at Sandwich Hollows still gets whispered about on many a golf course to this day. Unfortunately, a devastating Achilles injury and a series of setbacks to Nantucket alpha male Steve Collette have left many wondering if Davison's best days are behind him. 2023 will be a Make or Break Year for the long-driving father of two. 

Kevin M. Ryan

Age: 37

Handicap: 18.5

The pride of Wrentham is a firm believer that size doesn't matter. With an average drive hovering around most players' 6 iron, Ryan uses determination and fundamentals to stay in the game. His propensity to bust out a Texas Wedge from anywhere 100 yards and in has made him the subject of many viral videos in the FTB Tour. 

Sean T. Haley

Age: 37

Handicap: 23.4

Pronouns: He/Him

More feared as a poker player/professional handicapper, Haley is one of the most creative players on the tour. With a drive that veers more right than Desantis, he consistently finds new ways to ensure his shot shape doesn't cost him any titles. Will 2023 be his year to get the handicap under 20, or will it not be in the cards for the young man from Leland Road? 

Patrick J. Cronin

Age: 37

Handicap: 6.5

The younger of the Cronin twins has more love and passion for golf than anyone in the league. It may have taken him 10 years to propose, but it takes him only 10 seconds to say yes to a round of 18 with the boys. The only thing he loves more than golf is Minor League Baseball hats... and his family too I think. A feared competitor at a 6.5 handicap, the question is can he perform away from the confines of The Frank?

Jonathan A. Cronin

Age: 37

Handicap: 15.7

Jonny Butts, Jonny Chickenfinger, Jonny Doppler. The list goes on. Forget about golf, if you have ever any miscellaneous questions in life, this guy has you covered. On the course, Jonny is a fiery competitor who once flirted with a 10-12 handicap. Now older and worn out from all his time spent fretting about climate change, the proud dad of two looks to regain prime form in 2023. No word yet if the Umphrey's Mcgee Summer Tour will interfere with those plans.


Jeffrey 'Naughty' Cibotti

Age: 39

Handicap: 15

The eldest player on tour was once known as a 'young guy just trying to have a good time.' Cibotti consistently played bogey golf until he sustained a crippling back injury while doing The Worm on the dance floor of a greasy Boston establishment. While he showed promise as a DJ, the naughty Cibotti finds himself once again with the itch to swing the sticks again. Can the New Hampshire father of two regain his pre-Worm swing strength? 

Andrew Holmes

Age: 37

Handicap: 20

The son of Norfolk turned Wrentham native looks to have better luck on the FTB Tour than he has in the KP Fantasy Football League. Holmes has built up quite a contrast of being a heavy hitter on both the golf course and softball diamond, but also a proud cat dad and lover of all things Meghan Markle. Which side of the young man from Lake Archer will emerge this season on the FTB?

James 'Gym' Graham

Age: 35

Handicap: 4

As fellow FTB member Sean Haley says, 'Gym keeps his score low, while being high as fuck.' Legal issues have plagued the young prince of Boardman Street for years, with many considering him the Josh Gordon of golf. Between that and a rumored incident in a hallway within King Philip Regional High School, Graham hasn't done himself any favors. On the course, he averages 497 rounds a year at Heather Hill, where he typically shoots mid-70s while competing against octogenarians. Can Gym compete at the highest level away from Heather Hill and against non-retirees? 

Andrew Storms Johnson

Age: 37

Handicap: 8

A generational talent at the Franklin Country Club, Johnson is also highly regarded in the Finance world. With a lifetime sponsorship from Brooks Brothers, this guy will close deals and sink putts better than anybody. Don't let the white collar demeanor fool you, Johnson can thrive in any environment and also survived four years of living with FTB Tour bad boy Andrew Graham. 

Steven Collette

Age: 37

Handicap: Better than everyone else

Alpha Male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable. 

These are the words to describe Steven Collette, some would argue the best golfer alive on the island of Nantucket. He rose from the ashes of a 20+ handicap to dominate all competition, including fellow FTB member Brett Davison. When he's not manicuring lawns or having existential arguments with strangers on Facebook, Collette can be found raising his sons to become heir to the Alpha Throne. 

Andrew Higgins

Age: 37

Handicap: 21.4

Higgins was once a hockey prodigy of the Tri-Town area, striking fear into every Hockomock League opponent. These days the majority of his competition comes from intense and illogical political text arguments with long time friend Christopher Hopkins. Despite becoming a part-time activist, Higgins has grinded his way on the golf course down to a 21.4 handicap. Will he be a secret weapon in this year's tournament, or will renege on his tentative RSVP?

David McGuire

Age: 37

Handicap: 

This guy will sell you a million dollar insurance policy while flashing a million dollar smile. Born with an abundance of charisma and positive energy, McGuire is one of the most beloved players on tour. Despite dedicating his adult life to putting a beat down on rivals Liberty Mutual and Geico, McGuire has continued to find time to be a formidable opponent on the golf course. All eyes will be on him to see if that smiles lights up the 18th green as champion of this year's tournament. 

Robert Shirley

Age: 37

Handicap: 25

The former Union College goalkeeper is arguably the biggest wild card of the FTB Tour, as Shirley could shoot anywhere from high 80s to 140. A physical therapist by trade, he's been fine tuning his body on a daily basis to prepare. The Kingston resident will also have the shortest commute to the tournament making his team a sneaky good bet. 

Timmy Matthews

Age: 36

Handicap: 3

Walpole native. Strong mustache. Absolutely stripes the ball. No additional words needed. 

Photo Gallery

2023

2023

2024 Champs Jeff Cibotti and Andrew Johnson